Season 1, Episode 6


Season 1
Episode 6


by | Jul 22, 2020

by | Jul 22, 2020

Self-Sabotage and Spiritual Awakening

About this Episode

Have you ever done something that you didn’t believe in? Do you feel overly responsible for other people? Join Christine Contini and Laura C. Cantu as they discuss personal events that address subjects such as self-sabotage, victimization, and what it means to be too responsible for others.

Episode Support

What is the Pendulum Swing? Check out this short video on what a Pendulum Swing is and how it impacts your life.

Perception and Slowing Down It is very important to understand that your perception is held by your subconscious. Sometimes your subconscious applies stacked beliefs that give you a perception challenge at a time that you do not want it. Practice slowing down and adjusting your perception so that in moments like these you can have the experience you want instead of being bombarded by those you would never purposely chose. 

Self-Sabotage and Spiritual Awakening Transcript

Laura C. Cantu: [00:00:00] hello. My name is Laura Cantu and this is  

Christine Contini: [00:00:21] Christine Contini  

Laura C. Cantu: [00:00:22] with the wonders handbook podcast. So today, um, we’re going to be talking about something that I’ve been going through and that Christine knows about, and I’m guessing that it’s just a part of spiritual awakening. Um, but one of the things I’ve been doing lately, and I know I’m doing it when I’m doing it is I have been ruining relationships. 

So, so like for instance, um, I have a couple of friends and they recommend people to me and. Things just come out of my mouth and I’m just sitting there listening to what’s coming out of my mouth and I’m like, why is this happening? I normally would not talk to anyone this way. And then I’m, then I feel bad. 

Cause I’m like, well, that’s going to get back to that person. I’m going to lose my friendship. I haven’t lost any friendships yet, but it’s almost like things just blurred out and I can’t, I can’t stop it. And it’s not even necessarily what I believe.  

Christine Contini: [00:01:23] So  

Laura C. Cantu: [00:01:24] I just don’t know. It’s really confusing and I don’t like it. 

Christine Contini: [00:01:29] So there’s a lot that goes into that experience. It’s not a first beginner’s level experience. This is as you’re progressing when you’re becoming more of your truth. And when you’re realizing that you have to break down obligation and sub sub. Education to all those, you have to get rid of those things. 

And then this starts to happen because you start to realize you’ve been playing a role all along. So in the past, when this would happen, you would be compelled to do something, but the veil was so thick. You just wouldn’t see it. And you would be in an, a conversation and something would come out of your mouth, but the veil would keep you from even being aware that you’d talked to the person that way. 

And then later on, they might say, but we’ll do this you that. And you’ll be like, no, that doesn’t sound like me. Now. Here’s the thing. These are things that we act out in the UCM universal, conscious mind. So we’ve already had this experience before we’re having it in person. And this is one of the reasons as the veil is thinner, you start to recognize, wait a minute. 

Why am I doing this? Well, you already made the agreement with somebody in that level of intelligence and that level of connection to do that for them in their real lives. Oh, and also, it also supports you in many ways too. So you start looking at. If you weren’t able to, if you were able to go back and look at your past experiences with this same clarity, you would start to see moments where you did the same thing, but just didn’t recognize it as being, Oh my gosh, I’m watching myself do this because again, the veil is thicker and you can’t see that you’re doing it. 

But subconsciously, you know, you’re doing it because it was already preplanned in the UCM.  

Laura C. Cantu: [00:03:07] Yeah. Well, I mean, it’s, it’s not like I’m mean or anything, but it’s, it’s like, I’m, self-sabotaging, um, I don’t even know how to put it because like, like for instance, let’s say that I was gonna give a reading to someone. 

I might purposefully right now in this period of my life be an accurate,  

Christine Contini: [00:03:28] right? So in this moment, in your life, you’re attracting that combination of experiences as well, so that you can see that you do things. And watch yourself do them. And the other person is needing that same part of the experience. 

Let me give you an example in my life that might help you see it more clearly. Okay.  

Laura C. Cantu: [00:03:47] She can see like the confusion in life.  

Christine Contini: [00:03:50] So one of the first times that I had this really big experience about like, Oh, I’m actually doing this and I’m watching myself do this and I don’t want to be doing this, but I’m doing it anyway was when one of my children was a sexting with a friend now, Doesn’t bother me. 

I don’t have a judgment of it as their lives. I was okay with what was going on, but it kept getting thrown back at me like, Hey, you need to go look at this from one of the other kids and Oh my God, mom, guess what’s going on over here and go look at this. And then a third person, you need to go look at this. 

And I’m like, Oh gosh, universe, really do I really have to look at this? Cause I don’t have a problem with this. Um, but apparently the kid who’s doing it. Does have a problem because the universe is pushing me to go in there and confront her about this. Not a problem for me. I stand up, I’m calm. I’m myself. 

I’m peaceful, no problem at all. Still I walk into the room and then suddenly this rage and rant comes out of me and I’m punishing her and I’m telling her, this is not okay. And you can’t keep doing this. And I take away her phone and it’s like, I’m just watching myself do this. And I’m like, this is totally not me. 

This is not the me that I know at all. I I’m fine. I’m feeling this feeling while I’m doing it. And then when I close the door and leave, it’s completely gone. I’m back to that peaceful kind self that I was before I walked in the room and I thought to myself, this is insane. Why am I doing this? And I wanted to go back and apologize. 

But when I went to the door, I couldn’t bring myself, Oh, if I had gone inside, I would have destroyed all the work that was just processed.  

Laura C. Cantu: [00:05:27] And I, I did apologize cause I was like, and then I felt worse. I’m like, gosh, I know I shouldn’t have done that, but I did it anyway,  

Christine Contini: [00:05:35] Maha. Right,  

Laura C. Cantu: [00:05:37] right. So then I was like, no, I just  

Christine Contini: [00:05:39] doubled. 

Laura C. Cantu: [00:05:40] Damaged everything.  

Christine Contini: [00:05:43] And so there’s this ongoing discomfort in the beginning, but as you start to realize that this process is helping you move more into, okay. I can say these things that aren’t true. And I can be things that aren’t my truth, and I can try on things to see if they are my truth. So some of the things you’re doing, you’re actually trying on a feeling, you know, how would it feel if I just blurted this out at somebody? 

How would it feel if I did something that in the past I thought was unkind and I was worried about what, how they would react instead of just trusting the universe.  

Laura C. Cantu: [00:06:16] That would make sense because one of the things I’ve been working on is opening up my third chakra. Because I’ve been the type of person my entire life. 

When I say something, I hold back and I don’t, I don’t blurt things out and I’m very diplomatic or usually, I mean, like, unless you’re my friend and you really know who I am, then I get more free. But. Um, I would second guess everything I did  

Christine Contini: [00:06:41] even like were protective, I would even say,  

Laura C. Cantu: [00:06:43] right? Yeah, totally. 

And, and now it’s like, I’m going to the extreme opposite of that. And I’m like, what the hell am I doing?  

Christine Contini: [00:06:53] Right. So that brings up the concept of the pendulum swing. So when you’ve been holding yourself out of balance, say just to the left, you’ve been holding yourself. I’m like holding back on what you’re saying, saying only things that you think the other person wants to hear, and then you decide to be the truth of who you are that pendulum’s going to swing way far from the left all the way, way far to the right, because when you let it go, the force of that swing will bring in all the way to the other side and you’re going to have that experience. 

Now, there is an easier way. Do to do to do things and not go through the pendulum swing. Let’s  

Laura C. Cantu: [00:07:26] do that. Cause this is not fun.  

Christine Contini: [00:07:29] Well, it does take a bit longer though, and it does take a certain level of self control,  

Laura C. Cantu: [00:07:34] but what I am the fast kind of person.  

Christine Contini: [00:07:36] Right? So that’s the other thing is when we go in, we start our change. 

A lot of times we just want. We were asking for it and we want it to happen and we don’t want to suffer through the change and the pendulum swing, even though it feels like suffering in the moment, it is the fastest way to get from point a to point B in this type of, um, experience. But if you want to do it slower, you can recognize in each moment. 

Who you are and then who you want to be, and then you can make the small change. So for instance, you have the, you feel like you want to blurt something out. You can pause for a moment. You can excuse yourself so that you can compare the blurt to who you actually are and say, okay, does this line up?  

Laura C. Cantu: [00:08:15] Oh, well that sounds nice. 

Christine Contini: [00:08:18] Right? So yeah. It’s going much slower. It’s stepping back. It’s learning how to evaluate the truth of who you are. And it’s also, then if you’re using that method, then the universe is going to bring more gentler experiences to you as well, because you asked for fast change to be done with something completely. 

Yes, I did pendulum swing as supports that. Okay. If you’re not enjoying that, then you have to say, okay, I want a gentler change. And I’m going to be willing to be more introspective through the process and in doing so I can have a different experience.  

Laura C. Cantu: [00:08:52] Yeah. So I’m so lucky that as I’m going through this, I have friends who know what I’m going through and who support me in it. 

So hopefully if you all are going through this, you have that too. But even, even so talking about it this way, it helps me understand what I’m going through and not, that was the other thing that I was doing is I was beating myself up afterwards and I was being unkind and holding onto things. And every time I would think about it, I get this sinking feeling and I’m like, Oh,  

Christine Contini: [00:09:22] all right. 

So let me give you another method based on what you just said. We have the safe place. So when you are starting this behavior, if you have somebody that, you know, you can trust. That’s the person you turn to, instead of again, instead of doing it outwardly to everybody, if you want to do it slower, you turn to the person that, you know, you can trust and say, Hey, I’m not okay right now. 

And I’m going to tell you why, and this is what I want to be doing. And, and, and, but I don’t, I mean, this is what I’m feel like I’m going to do, but I don’t actually want to be doing that. And then you have a way to get the expression out so you can see it. So this is another thing about the pendulum swing. 

You’re trying to see something about yourself. Yeah. But here’s something to remember. It’s always a matchup. So how you were saying you were being unkind to yourself, it’s unnecessary. The universe matches people together. So anybody you do that too. Is in on the experience and they need something from the experience as well. 

So for instance, if somebody comes to you for editing advice and you say, Oh no, you’ve got a ton of work to do. And they’re like, I thought it was already done and they  

Laura C. Cantu: [00:10:25] feel bad that, and I did believe that I was like, Oh my gosh, this book needs so much work. And I was just like, Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. 

And I was like, Oh crap. I don’t even know this person.  

Christine Contini: [00:10:37] Right. But afterwards you felt unkind instead of just knowing it, I felt very  

Laura C. Cantu: [00:10:40] unkind.  

Christine Contini: [00:10:41] Right. And you questioned whether you could do it gentler. Now here’s the process. The pendulum swing comes first. So you can see who you are and then you recognize it. 

So you invite somebody into your life who needs that experience. They need to be hit hard, or you wouldn’t be able to do it. And then afterwards you can then redefined. Okay. How do I actually want to experience my environment? But if you don’t have the pendulum swing, then you don’t know how to question. 

How do I want to experience my environment now? So you recognize that you felt unkind.  

Laura C. Cantu: [00:11:10] I did. I felt unkind, even though it was all, I mean, it was mainly. True. That part  

Christine Contini: [00:11:16] was true. Right. So again, you were in your truth. Yeah. But then you decide, okay. Now how do I want to express my truth? Because I’d seen what it looks like when I do it this way. 

Now it would have been fine. If you didn’t believe you were responsible for someone else’s experience.  

Laura C. Cantu: [00:11:30] Yes, I do that a lot. I take on other, I feel like that I can harm people and, um, that. I want to be here not to harm, but to help, especially like I was in the health care system first and you make an oath, do not harm. 

And anytime I, I take a little oath, you know, like that a little oath, it permeates every part of me. And I’m like, I cannot harm  

Christine Contini: [00:11:55] right now. And you know, we do that as human beings, walking into our bodies, you know, incarnation, we come in with the idea that we’re here to help and not to harm because we’ve been called to this experience. 

And. It’s again, there’s so much density here. We don’t recognize that we won’t be able to do things the way we thought we would. And so this is all part of the learning and growth process of how to experience this environment.  

Laura C. Cantu: [00:12:18] So how to, how to take what we know, how to take, what we know from where we came from, from our master spiritual selves, that is just all knowing and hooked in with everything past, present, and future, which time doesn’t exist anyway, and bringing it into a very focused. 

Dense reality with extremely limited perspective. Correct. And being able to being in thinking we should have this mastered.  

Christine Contini: [00:12:47] Right. And that’s the challenge is we come in thinking it’s not going to be that hard that we should be able to get through this quickly. We should be able to help others get through it quickly. 

And then that’s when the learning and growth process begins because it’s not at all what we thought it would be.  

Laura C. Cantu: [00:13:01] Yeah. So whenever I was going through this. Um, being unkind to myself and saying these things, um, what, what is it that like, I had a lot of regret. What is it that actually causes that regret besides thinking that I’ve harmed someone? 

I mean, like,  

Christine Contini: [00:13:26] there’s a great,  

Laura C. Cantu: [00:13:27] there’s a great big chasm of it that keeps me. From truly speaking my truth from true. You know what I mean?  

Christine Contini: [00:13:35] Yes.  

Laura C. Cantu: [00:13:36] Can you explain what I’m  

Christine Contini: [00:13:38] trying? I actually have to go all the way back to the beginning of when you created the beginning of the experience for you to understand how you got this far into it. 

Okay. Okay. So we will help people, right? It definitely will. Okay. So when we’re a small children, we’re fine. We don’t, we’re fine. We can do whatever we want. It doesn’t occur to us that we’re harming anyone. And then someone turns around and says, you’ve harmed me. You know, a parent comes and punished as you,  

Laura C. Cantu: [00:14:00] but they won’t say in those words,  

Christine Contini: [00:14:02] they don’t say if they said it in those words, it’d be so much easier to recognize it. 

Oh no, I can’t possibly harm you. You’re in on it. You know, we’re all here having this experience. So how am I harming you? You’re responsible for harming yourself and we don’t want to get too deep in that part of it. I want to get to just what the child starts thinking. So the child thinks, okay, I’ve made this experience. 

And it gave me this consequence. Now you didn’t understand consequences in the beginning. So you start working with, okay, what is the consequence and how is it going to impact me? Well, I want to be playing, I’ve just broken something. Didn’t know I broke it. I thought it came apart and it was really cool. 

And I was looking at, you know, like say the coffee table leg, say I knocked the coffee table over. Cause it was old and rickety anyway. And the leg fell off and apparent comes over. And what are you doing? No, no. Get away from that. Well, for whatever reason, they’re, they’re interfering. In a way that they think they’re loving me. 

So for instance, if that’s now dangerous, what if there’s a sharp screw, poking out or a Sherwood that I could get hurt on or something else is going to break and cause an even bigger issue because this table and now is even falling apart, they’re coming in to save me. But I don’t see that. I don’t understand that yet now. 

And that moment they’ve stopped me from doing what I wanted to do. I have a consequence. My needs are not being met. That’s the beginning. So, how do I meet my own needs? I recognize the person who controls me, how they can control me and what the consequence will be if I don’t meet their need. So now I’m subjugated and I’m going to, I can go as far as take becoming obligated. 

Now, subjugated is just first recognizing that somebody has power over me and allowing that to continue. Cause, you know, if you just walk away as a child, And, you know, you have parents that understand it won’t be that way, but most of the time, again, we’re coming into this density and people are already off balance and they don’t know that it’s okay to be loving in that moment. 

Oh, by the way, this reminds me when my kids were growing up and they were very little, there was a TV show that I watched that totally made me understand this concept. And you’re going to be surprised what it was. It’s a cartoon, a little bear. And little bear was in the kitchen and he spilled milk everywhere and flour everywhere. 

And mother bear walked in and instead of being like, Oh my gosh, what did you do? A little bear. She’s like, Oh my God, look what you’ve done. Let’s clean this up together. Let’s talk about what happened. It was a different experience than I had grown up with and to realize that there was an opportunity for change. 

I, I quickly went into changing how I handled my kids in that, in that kind of experience, because I really liked that. And that’s the thing that happens to us. I’m a little off track, but this will, this will pull us back when we are learning things. We are learning through example. So when you were first learning, you realized there was consequences in a negative way that made it so you couldn’t meet your need. 

And the only way to keep moving forward is to start to narrow your opportunity. So before, you know, it, you get to a place where no matter what you do, somebody is not going to be okay. So if, for instance, if you’re doing something and your sibling reacts one way, so you change how you behave in order to get along with your sibling, and then you go to another location and as a new kid, And the same thing happens. 

And you use that same behavior that you used with your sibling, but that person’s not okay. So you see, well, what did you need to do to make them okay, so now that’s a second change for the same experience, and this will go on four or five, six times the same experience, changing who you are until suddenly you have nowhere to move at all. 

So what do you do? Nothing  

Laura C. Cantu: [00:17:41] you feel overwhelmed and you’re just like, I can’t move forward.  

Christine Contini: [00:17:44] Right, right. And you basically end up standing still. So when you see a shy child and you think, Oh, they’re so cute. They’re so shy. Nope. They have, they have stranded themselves. They’re so overly responsible and so caring. 

And so incapable of harming another person that all they can do is stand still.  

Laura C. Cantu: [00:18:03] Yeah. I wanted to talk about that, that whenever. So part of what I’m feeling right now, or, you know, what I’ve been doing by blurting out and feeling like I can harm someone. It’s a deep regret that, cause I don’t want to harm. 

I don’t even want to harm a fly if there’s a fly in my house or even a scorpion, I pick it up and take it outside.  

Christine Contini: [00:18:25] Right. So we didn’t get, we were starting this boat when Maria got sidetracked. So one of the things that you can count on is universal law and in the universal laws is everything is about me all the time. 

So the belief that I can harm someone else is about me and only me. Now I’m not responsible for anybody else’s response. I only create my reality period. And if that’s true, that means everybody else only creates their reality. And I’m going to give you a reflective idea so that the next time you have this fear, you can let it go. 

Okay. So the belief is I can harm someone. Now, remember we talked about that kid with their sibling and how they did something and they altered themselves because now I’ve harmed my sibling and I don’t want to do that. But the next person you go to doesn’t have the same experience if something’s universal. 

So if I, so for instance, if I go and stab somebody in the chest and they die and I do that over and over, then there’s, then I can pretty much count. I can start to look at a pattern that this is a fact that if I stab you in the chest, you will die. But the other option is if I go to you and I say, Hey, silly, what you doing? 

And. You laugh at me and we have a good experience, then I know I’m okay. But if I go to the next person and I say, Hey, silly, what you doing? And they’re like, don’t call me silly. I’m not silly. So I didn’t do anything to that. Person’s reality. They have created their reality. I am not at all responsible for their experience. 

Laura C. Cantu: [00:19:57] That does make sense because, um, I actually, whenever I was, whenever I go into editing books and I also do like brand coaching and things like that for people, um, and I design websites, I do all kinds of stuff. Graphics, websites, 3d. I just do all dr. Moreno medicine. Um, anyway, I do a lot of different things and whenever I did speak, I spoke to one person and I was very blunt and very, to the point. 

And I said, well, you know, if you, if you want this to happen, these are the steps you need to take. These are the things you need to change, you know? And. And then I did the same thing to that other person. The other person just broke down and then the one person took the advice, loved it, and is now a better writer. 

And they’re like, man, thank you so much for doing that for me. And the other person is no, my stuff is  

Christine Contini: [00:20:48] great. Right. So let me help you. Let me help you restate that. Cause there was a lot of moving around in your head that your mouth. So with the first person you gave this, that was your first time of this outburst. 

And that feeling of just saying whatever’s on your mind. And there was freedom in it. And at the end of the conversation you kept, so you kept going, you kept stating this freedom. And at the end of the conversation, the person came to your reality and realized what you were communicating and said, thank you so much. 

This is life changing and it’s going to, I’m going to be amazing now.  

Laura C. Cantu: [00:21:18] Correct. Yeah. They actually became a better writer and they worked on it and they did become a better writer.  

Christine Contini: [00:21:23] Right. So it’s that then good. You created that reality. That’s you creating your own experience? Okay. You’re not responsible for there’s your breeding years, which is being open and expressing your truth and giving information to somebody the way you want to. 

And then that was empowering. You took it to the next person. The subconscious is like, Oh, this is working. We’re going to try it again and see, see the result. And when you’re doing it again, you get a different result. Why? Because you’re not responsible for anyone else possibly be responsible for someone else. 

And this person’s result was to show you who they are. And that’s the other thing. When you give somebody advice, you’re not actually doing anything to them. They are showing you who you are. This first person is somebody who wants to learn and grow and change. Right? The second person is the kind of person who gets their feelings hurt, who wants to express their pain, who doesn’t know that they’re not perfect in whatever way they think they’re already perfect. 

And to be told that they’re not perfect is such an ego hit. They cannot handle it. So in that second moment, you didn’t do anything different than you did with the first person, but the second person had a negative impact and negative response towards you. But here’s the thing. Did they really, can you count on that? 

That’s what happened or can you see that you are part of this universal plan that you guys in the UCM said, Hey, I need to be hit upside the head really hard with this information so that I can see something different because otherwise I’m going to keep moving forward and I’m not going to have the success I want. 

So you look in the universal conscious mind to match up with somebody who needs to hit somebody hard. And the two of you match up and now there’s a win, win experience. You walk away, unfortunately being unkind to yourself, but that’s about you to learn. Do I really want to treat myself that way? Do I really want to feel like this ever again? 

And that other person walks away thinking I’m not perfect. I need more support. I need more help. And then can reevaluate something that they, they were already rigid on. So what this experience, what your second experience shows me is learning flexibility. So you cannot know how you’re going to impact the other person, which is why I’m always like, do what you’re compelled to do. 

You know me, you. Cause if you’re anything less than you, you’re not helping. So remember the past, when you said you did everything for everyone else and said only what they wanted to hear. And then when you were hoping they would change, did it ever happen? No. Right. Because you didn’t give them anything to change  

Laura C. Cantu: [00:23:48] became codependent. 

Christine Contini: [00:23:50] Exactly. It’s a lose lose. Yes. Yes, absolutely. And that is one of the basis of a codependent relationship is there’s one person supporting the other person’s reality instead of each person being individual.  

Laura C. Cantu: [00:24:02] Wow. That’s  

Christine Contini: [00:24:04] big.  

Laura C. Cantu: [00:24:07] So you guys get to know all my shit 

Christine Contini: [00:24:14] and, and there’s, there’s so much to this whole process. Cause like you said, it felt afterwards for a moment. You were okay. But what happens next is the belief system. Cause you were asking, you know, how does this happen? Why did I feel so bad? Why was I guilty? Well, you have a belief that you can harm someone. 

So even though you already knew you were moving out of that belief, You fell back to it.  

Laura C. Cantu: [00:24:35] Yes. I tend to do that.  

Christine Contini: [00:24:37] Well, that’s normal. That’s a normal process because when you fall back to it, you have in that moment, the choice to say, okay, is my experience right now? Is this pain I’m feeling true? Well, if you go back to the universal laws, everything’s about me a hundred percent. 

About at the time I’m not responsible for somebody else’s experience. Then. Oh, okay. Well that was their pain. And so instead of making it about you, you start to think about, okay, this was theirs. And how did they,  

Laura C. Cantu: [00:25:02] I want to talk about, this is about me 100% of the time. Okay. Um, I want that to be very clear what we’re talking about, because this is not an ego driven, um, idea. 

It’s not, it’s not selfish versus selfless. It’s literally. You can only see something from your perspective, for real and not anyone else’s and every, you know, people are like, well, you’re selfish where you’re selfless, but really the only thing people are motivated by is what they think  

Christine Contini: [00:25:35] they feel  

Laura C. Cantu: [00:25:35] and what they know. 

And we all do things that we think will benefit us in some way, even if it’s to help another person that will make us feel better about ourselves. You know, or whatever it is. And it seems like we’re, to me, it seems like most people are reaching for a place of just being okay with who they are or joy. 

And some people think, well, if I suffer now, I won’t suffer later. Like we’re, we’re trying to work away our way away from suffering. So I’m just bringing up a lot of ideas here and you can pick what you want  

Christine Contini: [00:26:11] and talk about it. Right. There’s so much that we could go over with all that, but let me just back it up to the idea, like you said, 100% about me and again, it is not about ego. 

It’s about energy. So it’s not a brain thing is a law of attraction thing  

Laura C. Cantu: [00:26:27] because we’re sovereign beings. Yes. And in being a sovereign being,  

Christine Contini: [00:26:31] it can only be about you. Now we can create a codependent experience, which now the energy is of two becomes one. And so now anything that’s about me is actually about my codependent experience as well, because now it’s a hundred percent about me, which is the two of us as a me. 

So in codependency, it’s a little different and that’s again, another call another day. I mean, that’s a long story and it’s own, but we’ve come back to as a sovereign being, I am a hundred percent responsible for my reality. So everything in my experience is about me. My belief systems create a challenge for me. 

And like you were saying, you decided one day I no longer want to be subjugated and obligated to others. And therefore I have to break down my behavior and I have to then express me. Cause the full expression of myself is my new reality. That’s who I want to be.  

Laura C. Cantu: [00:27:25] It’s so funny when I make these broad statements out loud and I claim them what happens to my life afterwards is  

Christine Contini: [00:27:31] crazy. 

Laura C. Cantu: [00:27:32] But for some reason I keep doing it  

Christine Contini: [00:27:34] again. It’s the quickest way. Absolutely. The quickest way to get from point a to point B. Because you’re trying to get back to what you know, to be true. You knew this when you were coming in, when you were incarnating and it’s still in there, it’s in your DNA to know that you’re not these other things. 

Hmm. Here’s what that we haven’t covered at all. That might help people. Okay. If you’re feeling pain you’re in delusion. Yeah. So in that moment, after your call with, with a second person, when at first again you were fine. When, what, what, I’m sorry. You were fine with what you were saying, but then suddenly you were not. 

So what happened? You took on. Old baggage, a belief system. That’s not the truth of who you are and in doing so there’s this change in inertia inside of the energetic form. And there’s a sinking and there’s like this falling into a black hole. And that as soon as that starts, that’s that feeling of uncomfortableness and you know how we’re taught as kids, you know, don’t touch the hot stove, right? 

And so you learn not to touch a hot stove because it’s going to harm you, but then we’re taught on an emotional level. Oh, you’re feeling emotional pain. Well, don’t back up. Just push through it. You just force yourself to keep going and follow somebody. Else’s belief. Oh, no worst advice ever. Right. Well, not the very worst, but one of the worst choices that I’ve seen that has been perpetuated in our reality. 

So you were taught to, again, you’re feeling emotional pain when you’re not being yourself. And you’re taught to push through it and keep not being yourself. And so emotional pain is designed just like physical pain to bring us back to the truth of who we are. And so if we back off, we slow down, we take a look at what’s going on inside of us. 

And if you know the right way to question. Then you can get to the answer. That’s the direction you want to be.  

Laura C. Cantu: [00:29:18] And are we going to create a course on the right way to question? Oh, absolutely. Or maybe put it in our library or something?  

Christine Contini: [00:29:24] Well, I had started channeling a little information about the 20, 20 spring study and it’s going to be about questioning, so that’s actually a good matchup. 

Laura C. Cantu: [00:29:33] So we’re going to have something come up just on that.  

Christine Contini: [00:29:35] Yes. This year, for sure. Right.  

Laura C. Cantu: [00:29:37] Okay. So I have a question now. So in ballroom dancing, there’s a dance called Samba that sometimes you have to teach inaccurately. To get it in the body then to become accurate at it. It doesn’t have to be that way, but if someone’s not familiar with how their body moves, that’s the fastest and easiest way to do it. 

So when I told you the other day, I gave inaccurate information, normally I’m not that kind of teacher where I would just teach Samba the right way from the very start. And I think it’s so weird. That I took that. Sorry. I took that and applied that. Oops, I’m using my hands and hitting the microphone. 

Anyway. I felt bad about that. Cause I judged myself on my integrity.  

Christine Contini: [00:30:27] Oh,  

Laura C. Cantu: [00:30:28] does that make sense?  

Christine Contini: [00:30:29] Okay, so you, okay. So you had a belief system challenge and you couldn’t tell which was the truth and which was the delusion. So this is what will happen over time. You cannot hold two truths, things that appear to be truths. 

And eventually one of them will fall away. And your belief is that integrity looks like this. What guess what?  

Laura C. Cantu: [00:30:53] It doesn’t, that’s  

Christine Contini: [00:30:55] a made up experience. That’s a decision that you made that you hold yourself to. So when you look back, when you start bringing the truth of who you are and you pull these experiences to yourself and you’re compelled to help others in a particular way, that’s like, Oh, that doesn’t seem to match up with me now. 

That’s not the same as making a decision in fear. So anyone that starts to think, well, I was afraid and I made this decision to lie. And so therefore it’s okay because I was compelled to lie. No, that’s not at all what we’re saying. We’re saying when you’re in the truth of who you are, And you’re compelled to do something and you’re watching it. 

It’s okay. Because it’s part of the UCM agreement that you’ve already made. And you’re pulling that to yourself. Now, again, you can stop in that moment and you can alter the experience. It doesn’t have to keep going that way and you can move gentler into the truth of who you are instead of having these match-ups show you more of yes. 

I’m redefining myself this way. Yes. I’m challenging myself to have this experience so I can understand more. So for instance, you might’ve wanted to understand something about other people and their integrity because you’re coming from a place of integrity and you haven’t fully defined what that means. 

And so you’re going to have this experience to see, am I still in integrity if I behave this way? And so it becomes a challenge of, I can see others more clearly because I’ve done something that is different. And in doing so the, I now lose judgment or you lose attachment. I use concludes I lose these ways of how I harm myself because I see the whole picture. 


Laura C. Cantu: [00:32:30] Yeah. So it was interesting. Cause it was just really weird. It was a strange experience,  

Christine Contini: [00:32:38] but I ha you get to a higher level of, um, energetic growth. And then you come up against somebody who’s not at the same level and you can not, again, you were thinking of integrity based on who you are, but if you do what you, if you stay at the level of growth where you’re at and you interact with that person from your level, they can’t see, hear, understand you. 

So again, sometimes we’re compelled to  

Laura C. Cantu: [00:33:05] do something. That’s what it felt like, because the information I wanted to give them was. Something different than what came out of my mouth. And what canine came out of my mouth was a different version. It was an accurate, it wasn’t a lie. It was, it was inaccurate. 

And you know, me, I like to be as accurate as possible, right. Like if we, if I’m editing a book for instance, and there’s one word that’s off and energetically, I’m like, I can’t use that word. We have to use a different word. So, but I just let it go. And I was like, I can’t find, I can’t give them the vibration. 

Does that make sense?  

Christine Contini: [00:33:42] Right. The full experience that, you know, you hand it over  

Laura C. Cantu: [00:33:45] to them. I couldn’t give it to them. And therefore I judge myself as an accurate,  

Christine Contini: [00:33:49] right. But you can do what you can do. Right. You judge yourself, you created, again, this experience of, of discomfort. Why? Because you’re trying to understand and know more of who you are. 

So you true the experience to you. It’s a benefit for them and a benefit for you.  

Laura C. Cantu: [00:34:03] Yeah. Okay. Cool. Cause to me being an accurate is excluding something. It’s not just saying something wrong. It’s excluding. Right. You know, it’s. By default. It’s like, well, if you don’t tell me, then you flied.  

Christine Contini: [00:34:16] Right. And you know, and I have that. 

I’m, I’m still working on that belief system too. About I’m pretty rigid when it comes to lying is something I just won’t do. And somebody can look at me and say, well, you lied. And I’m thinking, no, no, I didn’t. There’s some misunderstanding here. If you think I lied and then I can go deeper. So for instance, like if you leave something out, if they had questioned you, then that leaves room for you to do more. 

Laura C. Cantu: [00:34:37] Yes, I could have, I could have gone much deeper into it, but  

Christine Contini: [00:34:40] much, much if they have what they need.  

Laura C. Cantu: [00:34:42] And here’s the other thing too. I said it, I knew they didn’t understand what I was saying and that I judged myself as an  

Christine Contini: [00:34:49] accurate case. Wow. So we’re talking now about planting a seed and that’s another day too, but we’ll just bring the topic up. 

That that is what happened is you planted a seed. They didn’t understand it. You knew you could do more to help them understand it, but there was no motivation to do so the interaction stopped right there. Right. That’s just,  

Laura C. Cantu: [00:35:07] that’s an afterward, I think CLT.  

Christine Contini: [00:35:10] Right. But that’s, you, you have to work on that day. 

There’s nothing you can do until you actually do the work to realize that there’s no such thing as guilt does that artificial belief. That’s one of those things that’s going to have to just fall away. But the other thing is. You can’t bring people along to where you are. If you don’t plant the seed at the level, they can get it so they can grasp at it. 

They didn’t quite get it, but they can grasp at it. And then later on, so if they, if this happens four or five times on the same topic for this person, eventually one day, they’re going to be like, Oh, I know this now. And I understand this now. And they won’t know that they heard it four or five times. 

They’ll just think they got something for the first time.  

Laura C. Cantu: [00:35:48] Yeah, that happened to me. That’s happened to me a lot, actually. Looking back  

Christine Contini: [00:35:52] of how you helped people, you mean, or how you help  

Laura C. Cantu: [00:35:55] people experience, like how people planted seeds in me. Like I heard things 20 years ago and then all of a sudden, you know, five years ago, I’m like, Whoa, I just had this amazing new idea. 

And thank you for, you know, someone else. Actually triggered me to experience it. And then I go back to the old person. They’re like, I told you that 20 years ago. And I’m like, you  

Christine Contini: [00:36:19] know,  

Laura C. Cantu: [00:36:20] and they would’ve just told me I would learn it 20 years  

Christine Contini: [00:36:22] ago. Right. And I think we can probably wrap this up with this concept is every person hears what they’re capable of hearing and what they want to hear. 

So you can, again, we’re talking about being responsible for other people. You say what you’re compelled to say. It doesn’t actually matter what you say. Which is shocking. I didn’t believe that at first, but the more I practiced that one, I was shocked and I could be in a session and I could tell the person everything they needed to get this wellness and to change their lives. 

But you know what, they could only hear what they were willing to hear, period. Yeah. And which is also why I recorded sessions so that they could go back and listen again and again and again, and eventually hearing things multiple times. Okay. Now I’m ready to hear it. I’ve had seeds planted. I want this change and then they can move forward. 

But. It may take five, six people of planting a seed before you’re willing to move forward, because you can only hear what you’re ready to hear timing and preparedness. They actually do matter,  

Laura C. Cantu: [00:37:19] right. It’s like watching a movie over and over and getting something different out of it each time.  

Christine Contini: [00:37:23] Right. And then being surprised. 

How did I not know that the first time I watched the movie, but you couldn’t have known it because you weren’t prepared to know it. Right. And he’s really brings you to the next piece of understanding,  

Laura C. Cantu: [00:37:33] right. Because we can get into this later, but in a movie, if you’ve seen it one time, you know, the ending. 

And then you watch it again with new eyes knowing the ending.  

Christine Contini: [00:37:42] But we do that  

Laura C. Cantu: [00:37:44] on a level because we already know,  

Christine Contini: [00:37:46] right. That’s how the brain  

Laura C. Cantu: [00:37:47] consciously what’s going to happen in the future.  

Christine Contini: [00:37:49] Right. And another day we’ll have to talk about stacking beliefs and how that impacts what we just mentioned, timelines. 

And now.  

Laura C. Cantu: [00:37:55] How we move to the future and see it and come back and work from there.  

Christine Contini: [00:37:58] Right. So much to explore.  

Laura C. Cantu: [00:38:02] Well, thank you for listening. We look forward to talking with you on our next podcast.  

Christine Contini: [00:38:06] Have a great day guys. . 

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