Season 1, Episode 4
Blame, Bad Behavior, and Your Responsibilities
About this Episode
Have you ever felt the pressure to “be the bigger person” and then feel worse afterward? Do you think it’s your job to take responsibility for other people? Are you caught in the game of blame? If so, this podcast is for you. Join Christine Contini and Laura C. Cantu as they discuss what it means to be true to yourself while dealing with other people’s bad behavior.
Blame can be a sticky situation at best. When you find yourself approaching blame, you can try some of these exercises to help you get to a better place:
- Change Perception this exercise instructs you how to slow down or stop a belief so you can be aware of the possibility that something is different than your current perception can conceive
- Expanding White Light helps you increase the light content in your body before you look at a situation so you can see it without blame
Mentioned in this Podcast is Donna Eden, Energy Medicine: If you feel like you need more protection from a toxic environment or toxic people, The Zip Up is for you! Check out her book Energy Medicine as well as her YouTube Videos.
Also mentioned is the Trauma STUDY. This STUDY goes into great detail on how to experience energy in your life and your relationships in a way that supports creating the reality you want instead of staying in a place where you feel stuck.
Blame, Bad Behavior, and Your Responsibilities
Laura C. Cantu: [00:00:00] Hello. My name is Laura Cantu
Christine Contini: [00:00:14] and I’m Christine Contini.
Laura C. Cantu: [00:00:15] And this is wonders handbook podcast.
Christine Contini: [00:00:18] Today. We’re going to go over something that I want to correct, because I’ve, I feel that even though I’ve said this often in any of my teachings and any of the training that people have on the site or anything that we’ve done publicly, I feel that maybe somethings have been missed.
And what I talk about in a lot of lectures and conversations is that everything comes from love and that if you stop and you can see somebody for who they really are, even though they have these looks like all these terrible experiences and bad behavior, that if you stop, you can see that everything comes from love.
And I find people coming back to me and saying, yeah, I did that. And I see that it comes from love. And then they’re finding themselves in a bad experience because instead of recognizing that that’s no excuse, they’re using that to excuse the person’s behavior. And I want to make it crystal clear. And even though I’ve said that it never is excuse for bad behavior, I don’t think it’s truly clear that this is why we talk about guidelines, boundaries, and consequences.
It’s not to let somebody keep treating you the way they treat you to see that they come from love. It’s to recognize that you need to also love yourself. And in loving yourself, you create a, an experience that works for you. So if somebody is a ranger and they come yelling and screaming at you, and I’m my kid’s dad did this through years and years, Italian is the excuse for it.
Oh, I’m sorry. That’s rude to say it’s an excuse. He rationalizes his behavior by saying, well, I’m Italian and, and I’m passionate. And I express myself through this yelling, but the thing is I had to explain to him is yes, but the kids can’t hear you. And is your goal just to express yourself or is your goal to be heard?
So then we started setting guidelines, boundaries, and consequences for that experience because it’s no excuse bad behavior is bad behavior. Now, is there a judgment about whether something’s good or bad behavior? Yes. So again, these are conversations that you need to have individually with the people that you care for in your lives and not just make an assumption, not take any standard that we give you and apply it across the board because in this experience with my kids and their dad, yeah.
As he started to realize, yeah, I’m having to do this conversation over and over and over, and I’m getting nowhere. And the kids are like uncomfortable all the time. So when he realized that that was the case, we set the guidelines, the guidelines is. Um, if I’m yelling, then I’m in fear. So, uh, first acknowledging the experience.
So dad’s saying, okay, I understand I’m afraid for my child, which is how this comes from love, because I love my child. I don’t want them to be harmed. And if they’re not doing something and I believe that they’re going to be harmed because of. Then that’s an experience I don’t want them to have. So for instance, if you’re getting bad grades at school, you’re not going to get a good job as an adult.
If you don’t have a good job, you’re not going to have money. If you don’t have money, you’re not going to have the luxuries in your life. You’re not going to have the freedoms in your life that I know are necessary. So there’s a lot of fear behind that based on a child who came from poverty. So he’s as an adult, even though he was fine and we had a good house, stable house and income, that was enough.
His fear for his children was I came from poverty. I don’t want you to go into poverty. So there was a lot of yelling about bad grades. So you can see how setting that boundary of no, this, this treatment of yelling is not okay. You can’t just set the boundary. You have to understand the behavior in order for you to then form guidelines of, okay.
I recognize that as yelling about grades today, for whatever reason today, he can’t hold himself still and he can’t back up from it. So I’m going to back up enough so that I feel safe. But I’m also going to know that his yelling has nothing to do with me. So again, an understanding on both sides that when this behavior is happening, it’s not my fault that I’m being yelled at.
And it’s the other person’s situation that this is a bad day for them, and they’re not able to move into a good place.
Laura C. Cantu: [00:04:20] So I have a question for you. First of all, I want to make one statement. Acknowledging that everything comes from love is as much for you as it is for the other person so that you don’t create trauma for yourself.
Correct? Secondly, there’s this, um, new age idea out there that says you create everything that’s in your reality. And we’ve even said, you know, we are the creators of our reality, but then you said it’s not my fault that I’m being yelled at. I would really like you to explain that, please.
Christine Contini: [00:04:47] Absolutely. Thank you for catching the phrasing on that.
And it, this, this is very, um, clear when you, when you slow down and look at it, fall being blamed. So I don’t treat myself poorly because somebody else is yelling at me. What’s going on? Is I, the yelling occurs in my life because I haven’t put in a solid state of boundaries, guidelines, and consequences for myself.
Therefore, I can still attract this behavior at some point. There’s two, two ways things go. So I attract everything that I experienced because there’s something in there that I want need, or have positioned to myself for.
Laura C. Cantu: [00:05:28] Now, this is going to be something really hard for people to hear.
Christine Contini: [00:05:33] It can be can’t it.
Okay. So let’s look at that a little deeper than I attract everything because either I want need or have positioned myself for it, let’s do the position myself for it. First, if I’m taking on the beliefs of others and I’m not the full expression of myself, then I will attract something to me to show me that I’m not free flow, full expression of me.
And then I’m corrupted by somebody else’s belief. So when. Well, let me get to the other two and then we’ll go back and give examples. So, so I need something. So I have a barrier already inside of myself that I need to correct. So I attract something because I need to eliminate that.
Laura C. Cantu: [00:06:21] I need to see it because you don’t
Christine Contini: [00:06:22] see it.
Right. So I’m attracting something. Cause I need the awareness. Want is I have a belief system. This, again, put me in place that I’m trying to create something that may not be in alignment with the truth of who I am. So I either need it, want it, or if I created the attraction because, and those are the three levels of the law of attraction and how we bring things into our experience.
So if somebody is yelling at me, it’s one of those three things. No again, I’m not responsible for the other person’s behavior. This is a totally different aspect. This is coming into my life. What I may need is I may look, need to learn how to stand up for myself and say no more. Okay. So if I’ve created a situation by living under somebody, else’s belief that other people have more value than me or that I need to be kind and patient, even when people are having bad days and I’ve positioned myself negatively.
Then I’m attracting this over and over and over. And my, again, my need now part of the attraction is I need to stand up for myself and actually give back equality. So this is how that would happen. And as not always as easy as just looking at the experience and saying, it’s one of these three things it’s normally very deep, especially if something repeats over and over, there’s something deep inside of you that you want to break.
Now that’s the other part that people might find hard to accept is that we want to break something inside of our energetic processes in order to be the full expression of ourselves. And because we’ve had an, an experience or belief or behavior for so long, it can feel impossible to see ourselves as any different.
I mean, we’ve all heard people say, Oh no, I’m just, that’s just me. I’m always, I’ve always been like that. And that’s just
Laura C. Cantu: [00:08:10] really training,
Christine Contini: [00:08:11] right? Exactly.
Laura C. Cantu: [00:08:13] No, you’ve been trained to be that way.
Christine Contini: [00:08:14] Exactly. And you may have thought that, um, like your parents say, Oh no, he was like that as a baby. Well, guess what, you were energetically trained during the incarnation, as you were being developed in the womb, you were energetically trained.
So there is no, there’s no creation. That’s not created. Does that clear? Does that make sense?
Laura C. Cantu: [00:08:34] Explain that a little bit more.
Christine Contini: [00:08:35] Let me get a sip of water first. So there’s no creation. That’s not created when we’re coming in through incarnation, we’re picking up vibrational experiences and using those to hold space.
Laura C. Cantu: [00:08:51] and cell cells have memory, correct. So you also have your ancestral memories and guidelines and baggage’s. And when we talk about ancestral, we talk about future and past, not just past.
Christine Contini: [00:09:06] And these are all choices that are being made during incarnation based on the experience that you’re looking forward to.
So it’s not that you’re choosing these things because, I mean, so you’ve heard this idea where somebody says, um, it’s not that you plan to fail it’s that you fail to plan. Right. And so you might’ve been. I remember when I was in elementary school. I remember somebody saying there’s not a single child here that is dreaming of being a drug addict as a grownup.
Right. I mean, I know I’m making it a small, a small idea, but it was a big thing that I remember from them saying, you know, what do you want to be when you grow up? What do you want to be when you grow up? And they went through the class and everybody said, well, I want to be a dancer
Laura C. Cantu: [00:09:50] and be the president of the United States.
Christine Contini: [00:09:52] They want to be corporate owner. All not one of them said, I want to be a drunk. I want to be an alcoholic. I want to be an abuser. I want to be homeless, not one of them. And that was a point that was made to us an elementary school. And so it’s kinda like that when you’re coming in through incarnation, you’re picking these pieces because there’s an experience you’re shooting for.
And when you don’t hold the truth of yourself, then you can’t maintain the goal of your own experience. And then you become victimized by your own cellular DNA.
Laura C. Cantu: [00:10:25] Okay. Explain that more because I understand what you’re saying. However, I know your language and I know how you speak. So we need to put this in layman’s terms.
Christine Contini: [00:10:36] Right.
Laura C. Cantu: [00:10:36] So not that I’m not a layman, we’re all layman’s here, but I know Christine speak.
Christine Contini: [00:10:44] So we’re going to try to simplify with more details. Cause what goes on is, is there’s so much in my head and only so much comes out of my mouth. And Laura knows so much of my backstory that she can fill in the parts that aren’t coming out of my mouth. Right. So we have. The idea that we’re incarnating and we’re going into a physical form that already has cellular memory based on the being that is birthed through.
Okay. And as we’re incarnating, we make a choice. Do I keep this or do I give it away? Okay. So that’s the first part. Now we’ve coming from love and we’re coming in with a goal to be part of an experience. And more often than not, we keep that because we come from love and we know that the people here already have this experience.
And if we throw it away, we’re going to lose our relate-ability. We’re going to lose our connection. Cellular memory gives us a connection to something that we’re coming to. That we can then incorporate faster and more completely than if we separate from it. And
Laura C. Cantu: [00:11:46] my current belief is that there’s a lot of people that are coming in now, and that have been coming in for years that are actually coming in to clear some of that cellular memory,
Christine Contini: [00:11:55] a grade.
Cause if we look at the children and the way parenting has changed, cause I don’t know if all of you know this, but I have kids in their twenties and I have kids in their tens. So. I have this huge gap between my oldest and my youngest and my parenting has changed drastically. Not just because I’m a different person, but because of who they are coming in, there’s no more of, um, No, you, you can’t go barefoot because you might cut your feet.
It’s now a conversation of, well, this is the consequence. If you go there for it, you may cut your feet, but are you sure you want to go without shoes versus before? I’d be like, no, you don’t have a choice. You’re not going without shoes. So make that clear. So it’s more of a giving them their freedom in this, these last two I have than the, than the older group of kids, because this is how they’re coming in.
And I’m talking to teachers and the teaching has changed as well, because I remember in when my older kids and the ones with ADHD would like, sit down, shut up. You have to, you have to have to, you’re punished, you’re punished, you’re punished. And now it’s like, Oh, okay. So you’re struggling here. This is what’s going on.
Let’s talk about why you’re struggling now. Can you do it today? No, I really can’t. Okay. Well, I’m not going to force you to do something. That’s going to damage you later on in life. So we’re just not going to do that completely different experience. The schools are doing it. The adults are doing it. And if you haven’t been around the younger generation to learn these changes, then you might be shocked as a grownup, looking at the kids saying what’s wrong with these people who lets their kids scream in public.
Why didn’t they smack that child? Oh my goodness.
Laura C. Cantu: [00:13:36] So that said, I want to give you all of you guys a clap, because if you’re listening to this, you have been a part of this process and you have allowed this new energy to come through yourself.
Christine Contini: [00:13:55] Okay.
Laura C. Cantu: [00:13:55] So we are going to take a small break and then we’ll be back in, see you in a little bit.
is going on. So.
Laura C. Cantu: [00:00:23] And welcome back.
Christine Contini: [00:00:26] So we’re still discussing the idea of responsibility, how we attract experiences. The bad behavior is never something that we have to endure. And then how are we going to manage and experience and understand it in order to then create the reality that we want?
Laura C. Cantu: [00:00:46] And one of the topics that I requested that we speak about is blame.
And what it really means and victimization and victim hood
Christine Contini: [00:00:55] right now, my youngest daughter came in today. And says, I can’t believe he didn’t plug in any electronic devices. None of them are charged. And I had to, don’t get my turn right now. And I’m like, well, why are you blaming? She says, I’m not blaming.
So I think we might want to start with what is blame and how do we define it and how do we acknowledge it? And how do we know when it’s actually something we’re doing?
Laura C. Cantu: [00:01:24] I think blame, if I were to look at the definition that I know of, it is looking outside of yourself. For a reason that you don’t feel well or that you don’t, that you’re suffering, looking for a cause of suffering outside of yourself.
Christine Contini: [00:01:38] Right. And it may start with the feeling internally, but instead of looking at that internal pressure, you look outside, why
Laura C. Cantu: [00:01:44] do I actually know that’s the wrong definition? Cause you can blame yourself too. It’s looking for any cause of suffering in an imbalanced way.
Christine Contini: [00:01:53] Cool.
Laura C. Cantu: [00:01:53] Don’t you think?
Christine Contini: [00:01:54] I think that’s a really good way to look at it.
Yes. Because yeah, when you’re in blaming yourself, but not let’s look at that. Okay. Cause then actually your first definition actually does match because if you feel this internal pressure and discomfort, you tend and you start blaming yourself. What you’re literally doing on an energy level is you’re standing outside of yourself and facing yourself.
Laura C. Cantu: [00:02:14] Ah, and you’re looking in,
Christine Contini: [00:02:16] okay, it’s still an external experience because if you’re truly inside,
because when you’re inside, you don’t feel that same pressure. It’s the external experience of it. Yes. That makes it feel so bad.
Laura C. Cantu: [00:02:32] Blame as an external experience of looking at and finding.
Christine Contini: [00:02:38] Reasons for pressure.
Laura C. Cantu: [00:02:40] Yeah. And the cause of suffering. So yeah, when she’s talking about, if you’re inward, usually whenever you’re inside yourself and you’re fully inside yourself, then you won’t even have the need to blame,
Christine Contini: [00:02:54] right?
Yeah. Because everything synchronizes and makes sense. And there’s not all this fear and doubt.
Laura C. Cantu: [00:03:00] Yeah. So fear again, is the base emotion for blame.
Christine Contini: [00:03:06] Cause it’s the well let’s, let’s reiterate what fear is for those that, that, that may not recall. Fear is the absence of light. So there’s a vibrational experience that you’re having and love is the fullness of light.
So somewhere between fear and love, blame rests, and blame risks, closer to fear than to love, which means there’s less light content in your experience. So one of the solutions would cover this real quick about blame is when you feel that pressure, instead of stepping outside to do anything you stop and you increase your light content inside of your physical body.
And there’s some exercises on wonders handbook on how to do that. So when you increase the light content, The feeling of blame.
Laura C. Cantu: [00:03:52] Why?
Christine Contini: [00:03:53] Because all it was was the absence of light. And when you have light support, that experience diminishes us and goes away. Now, if you increase the light content in your form and you practice it and you’re good at it, and you know how to do it, Not assuming your first try.
And you’re like, Oh, I just didn’t work. Because again, you have to practice and exercise, get good at it and know how to do it. So in the moment of need, you can actually do it without effort.
Laura C. Cantu: [00:04:18] Just like when you learn to ninjutsu or you know,
Christine Contini: [00:04:21] how to draw or, you know, anything you do. So with increasing the light content, when you’re in a state of trauma, It is very difficult.
If you haven’t practiced to increase your light content
Laura C. Cantu: [00:04:35] and it’s very hard to stop
Christine Contini: [00:04:37] as hard. Yes.
Laura C. Cantu: [00:04:38] So one of the exercises, the exercises that we can all do is anytime we start feeling, even a hint of being upset is just to stop right. And not participate in it anymore. And just stop. Look around and become the observer,
Christine Contini: [00:04:54] right?
There’s um, uh, on the wanders handbook, the trauma study, that information goes into great detail about that because we’re as adults we’re continually being triggered and falling into these traps and we labeled them as black hole energy, black holes, where the forward motion of going into the depths of your pain is so much easier than pulling out.
At first, it feels good just to fall into it and experience it. And you remember your first heartbreak, we might want to blame the person who broke up with us or whatever they did, but that feeling of going into that depth and then having people rescue you and love you, that was a reward on some levels, right?
Laura C. Cantu: [00:05:40] I do want to say something really quick about black holes being inside the body, and this is off topic, so we’ll get back on it. But did you know that there’s actually warm holes and black holes inside of us and you can travel
Christine Contini: [00:05:51] through, right. So that’s part of that journey through itself, right? Yeah. Yeah, totally.
Laura C. Cantu: [00:05:56] Okay. Anyway, back to blame and,
Christine Contini: [00:05:58] okay. So when you have this experience of blame, And you’ve you fall into this negative energy. All you’re doing is further reducing your light content. So when I confronted my daughter this morning and I said, um, are you blaming? And she says, no, I’m not. I had to say, okay, we need to stop right here.
Let’s look at your responsibility. Could you have gone and gotten the devices and plugged them in yourself? Yes, but he didn’t do it. And I said, why are you relying on him for your experience? Okay. She still wanted to fight with me, but eventually she just like, you know, what can I do, mom? I know you’re always right.
Just kidding. That’s never something I say I’m not always right. And my kids have the freedom to tell me that as well, and to have a conversation with me on it. So she’s, she did slow down and she did look at the fact that. Um, that she was blaming and instantly she turned around and said, Oh, I can do this other thing, this other thing.
And this other thing, the pain was gone cool. And her solution arrived. And this is how, whenever you’ve seen somebody who is solution-oriented or somebody who’s problem oriented, this is probably the biggest divider I see between the two. And again, it’s just light content. Somebody who has a lot of light content in their body has support somebody who doesn’t has no support.
And it’s like, okay. So I have. I have one drop of gasoline left in my car versus a full tank. And I’m going to go 10 miles in both of these vehicles, which one is going to get there first.
Laura C. Cantu: [00:07:30] That’s a really big deal because when you’ve already throughout your life, been worn down and worn down and worn down and, you know, had stuff piled on top of you or, you know, it’s really.
It’s a really vulnerable and hard place to be. It’s very weak. You feel very weak when you’re in that situation. And almost anything can overwhelm you very quickly.
Christine Contini: [00:07:53] Right. And that’s, that’s the increase of the suffering. And it all started from, like we said, like maybe that first heartache where you were first supported.
Cause when you’re supported in that, and then your body says, Oh, this is okay, this doesn’t actually feel so bad. And then the next trauma and the next one, you dive, you start diving faster down into that black hole. That energy leads you because you’re know that there’s a reward of. Somebody saving you on the other end, but guess what?
The older you get the fewer safe rescues you have, you’re now responsible to rescue yourself
Laura C. Cantu: [00:08:23] and the faster that freight train rolls.
Christine Contini: [00:08:27] Oh my goodness.
Laura C. Cantu: [00:08:28] So now whenever you find yourself in that position, stopping is almost sometimes the only thing you can do. It’s just to stop because to stop that freight train takes a lot of practice and a lot of strength and a lot of courage just to be able to stop.
Right. And to say, I claim right now, I will not feel this way.
Christine Contini: [00:08:51] Right. I’m not going to indulge in this aspect of negative behavior that does not benefit my life.
Laura C. Cantu: [00:08:56] Exactly.
Christine Contini: [00:08:57] Yeah. And again, if you practice methods, which is why we have the studies. It’s to show you how to apply it to a regular life, how to actually practice a method.
So then in this moment you have the support you need internally. Now I remember, um, I was probably what, 45 years old when this happened. Where something just struck me as such trauma. And I felt myself going in a direction and I was desperate to stop it. And for whatever reason, that day I could not stop my forward momentum of this energy that was going to end my relationship and not literally in my relationship, but I was going to act out because I was so hurt.
And I was asking people, anyone I could get ahold of somebody, give me a solution. I can’t seem to stop this feeling. And I know when my partner comes home, there’s going to be a scream because I am so hurt and I couldn’t get out of it. And sure enough, when my partner got home, I did, I raged. I just, how could you, how could you, how could you, cause I was so hurt and I couldn’t find what triggered me and there’s three days of no talking after that.
And I knew I didn’t want that experience, but for whatever reason, I was trapped in it. So, what did I have to do? I had to slow down afterwards, even again. And I had to look at okay, can I find how I treated myself? Cause guess what? My partner doesn’t do anything to me. I do everything to myself. And this is where that blame comes up again.
I felt that desire to blame my partner for this pain I was experiencing because if my partner didn’t behave this way, I wouldn’t be having this pain. But the truth was, there’s already something in my cellular memory, something in my DNA, something inside of my energy that I’m triggering by watching that behavior.
And a lot of assumptions happen when there’s no truth in any of it. So I created a whole story. Now, fortunately, on this one, even though the feelings were hurt and there was no talking for three days and it wasn’t me not talking for three days, it was my poor victimized partner who I yelled at and blamed, but didn’t want to talk to me about it, but it’s not a cold shoulder experience, just so you guys know we don’t, we don’t treat each other that way.
It’s just. The, the normal warmth that the, the deep personal interaction we just need, he just needed a little distance to feel okay. And safe, because again, he has his own trauma. And when I behave this way, I, I set off his trauma. And so his response to that kind of behavior in his other relationships was to leave.
So he had a choice to just not interact or leave. So we look at this again. We’re looking at our baggage when blame, whenever you blame somebody, you have to understand it has to do with your personal baggage and it never has to do with them.
Laura C. Cantu: [00:11:53] Yes. Cause there’s nothing that you can experience. That’s outside of yourself.
That’s not already within yourself
Christine Contini: [00:11:59] through that. So when you were doing that a lot to that,
Laura C. Cantu: [00:12:05] we say that all the time outside of this.
Christine Contini: [00:12:08] So when you, when you look at someone else, And you can see them as this is not Laura hates it when I use my rude examples, but I’m, this is just one of those moments. When you look at someone else and you see them as stupid, there’s no way to interpret somebody as stupid, unless you have a belief system that supports the concept of this experience equals stupid.
So when you look at someone and you think of them as stupid, who are you actually being unkind to? Well, if you say nothing to them, you’re just being unkind yourself. You’re creating a judgment and assumption. And
Laura C. Cantu: [00:12:43] I have something to say about that too. Um, and if you want to listen to Neville Goddard, he has a great explanation of this, that whenever you want to support somebody or help somebody in some way, if you ever put a thought toward them, that is negative and it doesn’t already exist within them.
It’s going to bounce back to you.
Christine Contini: [00:13:02] Ooh, powerful. Right? Because. If I, if I do look at this individual, I think of them as stupid again. That is what I’m experiencing. If they didn’t know they were having a problem, of course, that’s why it’s even more stressful for me. And they’re going around just fine.
Laura C. Cantu: [00:13:14] Right. But if it does resonate within them, the den, then they have a choice to their subconscious can choose to accept it or not. But if they already have clear boundaries of bat around it, then it might repel again, back onto you.
Christine Contini: [00:13:26] Right. Right, right, right. That’s good. That’s really good. Okay.
So as we move forward with that experience of, I’ve just labeled you as stupid, and
here, the one here, I’m looking at the ceiling fan. Now
Laura C. Cantu: [00:13:45] we’re going to talk about this. We’re going to hash this out right here
Christine Contini: [00:13:47] right now. Why now actually we can do it right here. Let’s do it because this is important. I throw examples out all day long as an expression of understanding for the other person.
This is how my family, my dad talked my mother and I, we all interacted that way. So to me, this is normal. There’s never a dispensation of energy given to that other person is just, Oh yeah, I understand your train of thought. Now that’s all those experiences everywhere.
Laura C. Cantu: [00:14:11] And on my side I’ve been an incredible impact.
And I was taught growing up to take the pain of other people and the word of other people. So every time she does that to me, I have to put up my boundaries and say, no, Right, because there’s still something within me that resonates with it. And if I’m not careful, I’ll take on what she says and I’ll enact it.
And therefore I don’t feel safe.
Christine Contini: [00:14:31] Right. So it was never my intention for her to feel that she might be stupid. But what her brain starts doing is looking for all the examples in her life, where this may be true. And because the brain is so powerful, it will be successful. Right. And so, as the impact with the power of an intelligent brain, you put those two together and talk about self victimization.
Oh my goodness. You’ve got this soup mix going.
Laura C. Cantu: [00:14:54] So here’s the deal we already know. I have the problem with this. And because she’s my friend, I set up guidelines, boundaries, and consequences. And I say, if you keep doing this to me, I can not have a conversation with you.
Christine Contini: [00:15:06] Right. So it’s my choice to try not to do it,
Laura C. Cantu: [00:15:10] but she knows I have clear boundaries set.
Christine Contini: [00:15:12] Right. So I, whenever I realize it’s happening, I always back up from it. I never argue with her, or there’s no need for me to. To say, but I was only because again, we already have this setup. So like right now you saw we’ve we’ve already gotten through this. It’s already. Okay. I already realized again, I’m pointing energy towards her.
Oh, so method that’s what, when I do do any kind of family talks with people, we always look for a method to get through things in a way that is comfortable for everyone. So when you’re having this kind of experience, when you have someone who’s sensitive, like Laura is and how I was in the past, who takes things on, instead of looking at the person, when you have the conversation with them, you can take something in your area, physical, something, your cell phone.
No, no. Don’t use your cell phone. I always use a post it note, just so you know, guys, this is mine, a piece of paper
Laura C. Cantu: [00:15:57] because I use a cell phone
Christine Contini: [00:15:58] because you’re going to put the energy. Of your experience against the cell phone cell phone energy’s energy, no matter how you do it, if you push the energy, you push it.
Laura C. Cantu: [00:16:06] So you, so you don’t push it at another
Christine Contini: [00:16:07] person. Right. But also you have to remember it’s Laura’s interpretation that I’m pushing energy because I’m expressing joyfully on my side and she feels that as a push of energy, Hmm. She is feeling my energy, but she’s translating my energy into her past.
Laura C. Cantu: [00:16:27] Right. So this is totally something that I still have to work through.
So you guys are getting it
Christine Contini: [00:16:32] live. So what, the, one of the methods, again, that you can use is putting something. You can sit side by side. So Laura and I could sit by side by side and I can put a post it note about six feet to eight feet out in front of us on the floor. And I can talk to that and I can say anything to that.
And as long as Lara’s focus is on that same post it note. She’s no longer going to experience that same Impathics impulse because it’s now a divided situation. There’s not a push against her and we’re both moving our energy forward.
Laura C. Cantu: [00:17:05] Yes. And energetically that one of the most vulnerable places in the body is on the Rin Meridian, which is straight through.
Christine Contini: [00:17:13] the white wait, nobody saw what you just did. Sorry.
Laura C. Cantu: [00:17:15] The red Meridian is in the center of your body. And it goes from like, The bottom of your jaw line all the way down the middle of your body. Now, the, the there’s this energetic thing that if someone unzips that energetic pattern, let’s say, you know, girls get this all the time where the guys look down their body that is unzipping.
That red Meridian. And it makes the energetics of that woman weaker if they are, if they don’t have that, if they’re not aware that that’s happening. So one of the things that we always did was we zipped up our red Meridian.
Christine Contini: [00:17:50] Right. Do you remember the one lady with a big blondish gray hair that was really popular on YouTube that did the zip up,
Laura C. Cantu: [00:17:58] man?
No, I never knew her.
Christine Contini: [00:18:00] I can’t remember her first name was Caroline or Dorothy. Um, but she’s got energetic books and she goes through all kinds of lovely methods. Like you just talked about where she like the zip up. So just like, if you probably, if you Google and we’ll put it on the website, I’ll find one of the examples and put it on the website with the podcast
Laura C. Cantu: [00:18:16] replay and Louise hay.
Christine Contini: [00:18:17] Nope. Okay. So, um, somebody, this group, she’s just fun, so fun. Okay. I don’t know who she’s talking. Sorry. I can’t catch them right now, but it’ll be, it’ll be with the podcast when it replaced. So you guys can try some of these methods. And I remember the first time I tried that zip up method, I was reading her book and I’m like, this can’t be real.
And so I said, okay, I’m going to test it. I ran into the kids room. They had a game room and I ran in there and a couple of kids were there with friends and I walked over to one of the boys and I said, Hey, can I try something on you? And my son’s like, yeah, absolutely. Cause you know, we’re adventurous. And I, and I, um, I did a kinesiology test, had him put his arm out and I chest, I checked the strength of his arm.
Didn’t move at all. No, give it at all a hundred percent strong and I unzipped him. And then I tried his arm again and it went to flop and he’s like, I’m the whole room was like, Oh my God, how did you do that? And we spent a couple of hours going through the concept of what was actually going on. And we were so amazed.
It was so easily proven. So yeah, that zip up method. It powerful thing.
Laura C. Cantu: [00:19:25] So the other thing I told you that the Ren Meridian started at the jawline. It really it’s actually. The the rent and then the rent meridians on the front of your body and the Duke meridians on the back. And they have a meeting point in the roof of your mouth.
So another way to strengthen yourself is to put your tongue on the top of the roof of your mouth. And that completes those energy circuits.
Christine Contini: [00:19:47] Do you have a nurse when you swallow that that tends to be your, your tongue tends to go there and when you get nervous, you feel compelled to swallow. That’s probably part of the natural.
So we have a lot of these natural processes that solve our problems. And then as we go, we get in the way of our own natural processes. So when your mouth gets too dry, you can’t swallow anymore. When you get nervous, your mouth gets dry. So you’re stopping yourself from a natural process that was solve your problem.
Laura C. Cantu: [00:20:11] So, so when she was talking about facing the wall and not directly facing each other, that energetically works because we are sensitive on the front side of our body. And another way to stop taking on someone’s energy is to actually put the side of your body to them. As they’re speaking to you now, the right side of the body is a little bit stronger than the left because the left is more, um, Again, and the ride is more young, at least a quarter there’s there’s theories that switch that up.
Like if you’re facing South than the left side of your body is more young, it’s just weird.
Christine Contini: [00:20:45] So, so do your best on that one.
Laura C. Cantu: [00:20:47] But in America, traditional new age stuff, the left side is female and the right side is male.
Christine Contini: [00:20:54] Ah, so masculinity, so one’s more nurturing and one’s more so the left side of intuitive
Laura C. Cantu: [00:21:01] and responsible, and you’re in, if you put your intuitive side towards someone, then you’re more likely to get their intuitive stuffs, whether you put the responsibility side.
Depends on where your responsibilities lie, whether you take it on or not.
Christine Contini: [00:21:15] I do think we’re getting close to the end. Do we? We have a lot of loose strings out there today, so let’s see if we can kind of wrap this up a little. We started with the idea that bad behavior is never. Okay. Right. And that guidelines, boundaries and consequences is the healthy way to address a behavior in someone that you love, as opposed to just dumping the baby out with the bath water.
And that blame comes from the lack of energy and light content in your body. And that a lot of these experiences come from the lack of fuel. So learning to refill your body, whether it’s eating healthy, exercising, doing meditation, we have combination.
Laura C. Cantu: [00:21:58] And we have exercises on there for S on wonders handbook for some of these
Christine Contini: [00:22:01] things.
Yes. I’ll definitely put notes on the page so that you guys can find these things easily. So you’re going to go through practicing these things before you need them, because if you wait until a moment of trauma, It’s it feels impossible to get out of that. And you’re going to sink into a place that you don’t want to be, and you may behave in a way that’s not really you.
And then you got to probably beat yourself up with regret. You’re probably going to have to struggle getting through the trauma that you’ve caused on the other end. And so learning to be responsible to keep your energy full. Instead of letting the gas run out is probably the solution to all of this.
Laura C. Cantu: [00:22:42] Yes. And I wanted to say something earlier and I’m going to say it now, before this is over. When you start this, you need to S what I did was to start being extremely aware of the very first moment I started heading in a negative direction. And the, the faster you catch it and the faster you can stop it, the easier it is.
Christine Contini: [00:23:04] Right. And as you practice some of the methods, one of the methods is to back up. So you find yourself once you, once you, um, have this kind of personal control, and it’s not just through thoughts, it’s actually control of the energy and your systems and the flow. Then all you have to do is move it back. A couple of notches and it instantly, the trauma is out of the body.
Laura C. Cantu: [00:23:27] Yeah. Cause you can redo it. I mean, you can redesign it the way you want it. Right. And then what you’ll find too is once you start getting sensitive, like this, you’ll be wanting to watch TV and you’ll be like, Oh, I can’t watch that show because that show’s going to dam. It has too much damage in it for my energetic system at this time.
Yeah. It’s really interesting how it plays in it’ll play into every part of your life.
Christine Contini: [00:23:48] So, yeah. And so being aware becomes the salvation would say,
Laura C. Cantu: [00:23:53] yeah, Okay, so thank you for joining us today. And we look forward to seeing you next time.
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