With so many pressures to see people as the worst version of themselves it can be difficult for you to realize “We are all doing our best all the time.” This statement does not excuse away a person’s behavior or responsibility, it simply allows you to see your world with less condemnation.
Practice: Think of a moment in the past 48 hours when someone treated you in a way you did not like. It could be a tone of voice, forgetfulness, down right deceit, etc. Now:
- Imagine it is you treating someone else in this way that you did not like being treated.
- Ask yourself, “What would cause me to behave this way?”
- Don’t argue with yourself that you would never behave that way; simply find an equivalent behavior in your own life.
- Ask yourself why did you act that way? What pushed you to behave in a way in which you do not enjoy yourself or others? Look at your behavior from a place of personal responsibility.
- While you behaved that way could you in that moment have behaved any different?
- Again, don’t argue with yourself, or look at it with hindsight and clarity. In the actual moment could you have been different?
- Consider in that moment your behavior was the best you had to offer.
Now, look back at the entire situation with kindness for yourself and your behavior. Stay with observing your behavior until you can see yourself with kindness. Apply your Kindness Methods (Open Ended Hope, I Cannot Possibly Know, Everything Changes) if needed. Next:
- Look back at the way the person treated you. Look at them from this place of kindness.
- See them as doing their best. Feel in your body that they are doing their best, that we are all always doing our best.
- Allow the freedom of this concept to flow through you, releasing the chokehold your previous belief had on you.
Purpose: To expose the reality that lies underneath the blocks of assumption, conclusions, attachment, and judgment. We are all always doing our best.