When looking back on past events that are full of painful emotions, beliefs, or attachments, it is important to see what was outside of your conscious awareness. In this exercise, Finding the Gift, you step outside of your beliefs and perceptions about the event to achieve a clearer understanding. This understanding may reveal the reason this event was drawn to you, what purpose or lesson you used to attract the event, or the support the event brought into your life for your future.
Practice: To understand the event and how you experienced it you must:
- Own the event or memory. No matter what happens in life, you are the creator. Accepting that your life is within your control takes a level of responsibility. Nothing happens to you that does not serve you or your needs in some way. Even if you see yourself as the victim in a situation, there is part of you that has chosen that. Seeing the truth of your ownership can release the perception that an event was a burden and end your need to hold an experience as painful.
- Look for the gift that is hidden in the experience. Take a look at what lesson you were drawing to yourself in the event. How are you stronger, smarter, more well rounded from the event? If you cannot find a gift, a creation of change that the event brought to your life, ask, “Why?” Try to see what you are denying yourself, what understanding you are blocking out of anger or pain. There is always a gift; you must allow yourself the ability to be aware of what the gift was.
- Make amends. If there are amends to be made to make you whole, remember that the only amends you can control are your own. You must make amends without expecting anything in return from the offended party. It is not always possible to make amends in person. Sometimes you may need to make your amends through prayer or meditation. This heartfelt connection and release can end the pain for all involved when done from a place of understanding and free will.
- Share what you have learned. Sharing what you have learned and how it benefits your life is a great way to lock in the gift so you do not regress back to false beliefs or delusion. Show the joy and love that has been created once you understand so that others can experience the gift with you.
Re-experiencing your painful past can be difficult to go through. Once you have, you will be amazed at the release and the joy that replaces the hurt feeling and the bad memories. Particularly painful events are best done with the help of a practitioner of your choice, a counselor you trust, or a best friend who understands you and the experience who can help you see more than you can see by yourself.
Purpose: to release held blocks due to confusion, lack of understanding, and miscommunication.